Category Archives: Car Porn

Needs vs Wants

I’m going to give you a neat little fact: You don’t need much more than 100 horse power at the crank to go 100 miles per hour.  Kinda cool, uh?  I’m somewhat envious of one of my coworkers because of that fact.  She and her husband drive around in a Toyota Camry.  I know so little about the Camry that I actually had to wiki it to confirm it was a Camry and not a Toyandison Camcordima.  I also had to wiki it to confirm what year it was.  My research has confirmed it is a 1991 to 1996 year model.  The Toyota Camry is well known for being quite possibly the most boring vehicle on the planet, and the one you purchase moments before the Hawaiian War God Ku descends upon you and consumes your soul for dishonoring him by purchasing the most boring and un-warlike vehicle on the planet.  In short the Toyota Camry is pretty much the worst decision you will ever make until you buy a Prius.  Also made by Toyota.  But why am I envious of her?  Let’s go back to that first little fact.

Its even beige. There is no way in hell it can get more boring than that.

Car Porn: Audi R8

The four ring brand has been around for quite some time. But recently (like the last ten years or so) they’ve started bringing us some beautiful cars. They were great performing machines as well but it’s almost like they said, “BMW has us on performance, but we’ll make ours way better looking.” And personally, I think it’s paid off.

But every now and again manufacturers like to strut their stuff and toss a proud middle finger to the other car makers. The Audi R8 isn’t just a middle finger, it’s the double barrel.

Weekend Engine Porn

So, I know every Monday we have some hot, dirty car pictures for you, but I felt you all needed a nice gift for the weekend.  For all you FI lovers out there (which is most of us, I think), I got you some nice weekend Engine Porn…Click more for more pictures.

Weekend Driving Music: Favorite Band on the Planet Edition

In 2003, Electronic Arts released Need For Speed: Underground, one of the first games to really focus on not only the racing, but the tuning culture that was in full swing at the time.  Yes, the game was a bit on the Rice and Ridiculous side, but it was fun.  It was more than just the same old tracks, it was your ability to modify your car.  The follow up, Need For Speed: Underground 2 was even better.  And then for some reason, every Need For Speed game that came out after it was just…junk.  Nothing special, nothing fun.  The “upgrading” of the cars eventually went away, and they turned back to their old ways.  Which was good for them, I guess, but it left those of us wanting an arcade style racing game with more than just the same old tracks wanting.  Don’t get me wrong, I still think Forza>*, but the NFSU series came very close.  But this post isn’t about a video game, it is about music.

So awesome, NFSU gave them their own R34 GT-R

Car Porn: One of a Kind Edition

I like big cars.  Let me rephrase that – it isn’t big cars I like, but substantial.  I think that is why I tend to lean towards sports sedans and coupes, big touring coupes, and that new fangled touring sedan coupe sweep back whatever design like the Mercedes Benz CLS.  Now, one could look at the current offerings from the Germans and Italians and Japanese, and think that the idea of a bigger, more substantial touring coupe is somewhat a new idea.  However, in 1991 BMW brought out a big touring coupe under the chassis code E31.  The E31 could be had as an 840ci with a V8 or 850i/Ci/CSi, all powered by a V12.  While good examples these days are few and far between, they can still be found and the E31 8 series is still a good looking car.  BMW, on the other hand, was not content in just making a good looking big coupe.  While Mercedes and Audi were busy bashing it out seeing who could make the fastest big sedan, BMW set their sights a bit higher and to the south: Ferrari.

A musing on mentality – Sex Changes

It even shifts faster than -Tom-

Because the “short” way of saying transmission in tranny…get it?  Get it?  Maybe not.

There is a sort of simple pleasure in bliping the throttle and make the smooth transition from sixth to fourth in my car.  I also find it almost zen like when rowing through the gears on my DIY Cog Swapper (term coined and copyrighted by me), and have found it to be the case on the last six speed stick shift I drove.  But more and more, I find myself stepping away from The Sacred Order of the Third Pedal.  The newest breed of slushboxes shift harder, more directly, and faster than the old autoboxes, and the more elite of their breed – the dual clutches like those found on the M3, 911, and GTR and automated manuals like that on the Aventadore – still allow you the visceral feel of a good, solid shift and do it faster than you can process the thought of blinking your eye.  Further, a good automated gear box will give you more repeatable and consistent times at the drag strip, and around a road course or your favorite twisty back road you will be able to focus more on setting up your next turn and hitting it just where it needs to be hit than figure out what gear your in.

Still, The Sacred Order is a most righteous and elite order.  The mastering of throttle, clutch, and stick is a right of passage all true car people must undergo, a sacred vision quest that leads to the realm of rev matching and getting started on a hill.  All things to consider.

What say you?

Car Porn: Z is for Zonda, R is for Ridiculous

I still remember the first time I saw the Pagani Zonda. Well, I’ve never actually seen one IN PERSON, but the first time I saw it in Grand Turismo 3 I was stunned. I was probably 15 at the time and it was my buddy who showed me the car. We didn’t even have half the number of credits required to buy the car but we both wanted it BAD. So what did we do? We raced our Toyota MR-S at the Trial Mountain race track over and over and over again till we had enough money to get the car. We sat there for days switching off knowing that there was this Zonda shaped light at the end of the tunnel.

Since that time Pagani has taken a design approach to their vehicle (singular) much the way Porsche does it. Take an already great car, make it better, and then repeat the process every year. I can say with the utmost degree of certainty that it works. Their vehicles are simply stunning to look at and they perform like a dream. The latest itteration, the Zonda R, is essentially a race car….because racecar. Fully carbon fiber body; check.

I’m not sure exactly what qualifies as a “racecar” but I’d imagine that suspension mounted directly to the engine block is a good hint.

Car Porn: Gold Foil Edition

I am not going to try and take away from the Veyron here.  The French hypercar is stupid fast, and it makes sense: 16 cylinders, 8 liters, 4 turbos, 10 radiators, AWD and a slick dual clutch box that shifts, well, just as fast as the car goes.  It damned well better be fast, and it is.  But I just can’t see adding it up to car porn yet.  Something needs to come before I can even consider the Veyron, as beastly as it is.

Yes, that is gold foil in the engine bay

Ferrari F40

I’ve always had a bit of a crush on the F40.  I wouldn’t say it was the prettiest Ferrari ever, but something about the raw nature of it.  Twin turbo V8, no traction control, and that in your face styling of the best super cars.  That center exhaust pipe?  Wastegate dump.  Boom, winning.

TVR Sagaris

This week’s edition of Monday Car Porn is brought to you by the good folks at TVR who’ve been building pure performance machines since 1947. Their motto is, no ABS, no airbags, no problem.

TVR, the only cars with looks that kill and performance that actually does!


(More pictures after the jump…)